I Eat Lots of Soy and Wear Lots of Denim. I am Somtimes Proud to be an American, Thanks for Asking

I do not feel that I cannot call myself a professional writer. I used to be one, before, when I wrote about inventions and was paid (very little) for it. But, since writing about inventions is about as soul-sucking as it can get, and there are only so many times that one can write about odor-eliminating toilets before a personal line is crossed and one wonders how and why one’s life has actually been reduced to shit, I left that job. Currently, I am an Administrative Coordinator, which is a glorified version of a secretary, receptionist or office manager (in an office with no one but myself to “manage”). While I sometimes get to do small writing jobs, such as letters that reflect our company’s qualifications or small project blurbs for the website, I am no longer a professional writer, and at this point in my life, do not see that as a practical career path. I am swimming in student loan debt and will never be able to attain personal goals such as a farmhouse of my own and traveling more if I have to continue to hand over hundreds of dollars each month to my creditors. My writing is now a hobby, which takes some of the performance anxiety out of the equation and eliminates some of the guilt that rises like a bad case of acid reflux when weeks would lapse without the production of good, usable work. Perhaps instead of cranking out copy, I will be a woman who writes freelance articles about my as-yet-to-be-born child (or children) and develops a following among the readers of Family Circle and Parenting. Maybe I will be one of those eccentric, albeit a little crazy, women who sign up for writing workshops. I will gesture dramatically when I speak about the rhythm of the lines, my ethnic-inspired jewelry glinting under the lights. I will wear scarves and expensive leather shoes that I never could have afforded if I still was paying off my loans at 50. And throughout it all I will develop an excellent telephone voice, I will master Excel, I will pick up the donuts on Fridays. I will pay down my debt.

However, I give to you this link to one of my favorite time-killing websites, The Smart Set. They have recently added the humorous column Ask a Poet, where Kristen Hoggatt, a woman who has taken up the writing life answers questions about what it’s like to be a poet. My favorites include answers to inquiries regarding bathing, eating, office attire and the weighted question “Are poets patriotic?” Enjoy.

And if you have some more free time available, be sure to read the column Emily’s World for some great creative non-fiction.

He'll be Just as Laid Back & Unorganized as I am, I Promise

I want to once again thank Adam and his collaborative duo Partly Cloudy for spicing up last month’s Get Lit with their Spanish flair, sultry harmonica riffs and poems about the police. While no one accepted the challenge to name all the musicians on the decoupaged guitar case, it is probably just as well because 1: you wouldn’t have gotten them all anyways and 2: I know where Adam works and he is not good for the alleged prize money.

As you know, August is a popular vacation month, and since I am such a cliché, I, too, have a family vacation planned. But, do not worry, Adam has graciously volunteered (after some forceful arm twisting on my part) to take the proverbial reins this month and (to continue the whole horse-thing) lead you through an evening of creative writing. So, my dear Get Lit-ers, Adam is in charge, so maybe he will have a surprise planned or maybe he will show up drunk on rum, but whatever the case, know that Get Lit is still going to happen on Saturday, August 23rd at 8 pm.

If you want a theme, think What I Did on My Summer Vacation-style pieces that reflect on melting ice cream, road trips in the RV, historical reenactors at Colonial Williamsburg, that time your brother was stung by a jellyfish or going to camp.

For inspiration, read Shark Sucker, by one of our favorite people, Lori Jakiela. It’s from the City Paper last summer, but who cares, summer memoirs have no expiration. They never go bad.

I will miss you all, but my inner-mermaid needs to swim in the ocean and I need my yearly allotment of hush puppies. I yearn for sand between my toes. And Ben needs some sun on his pasty belly. He needs to ride a rollercoaster that is called Led Zeppelin: The Ride (or so he says).

See you next month,

Stephanie

Ps. We might be going international this fall, and I am hoping to have some guest posts from George Stuart as he travels the Scottish countryside and then writes about it. Remember to keep checking back!

Leave Your Babies at Home

Next Saturday, July 26th at 7 pm. Be there to see Adam Matcho collaborate with some guy who likes Spanish folk ballads and the harmonica. I am told it will be so awesome that babies should not be permitted in the door (whatever that means).

I'm not going to waste your time and mine with some lengthy rant about how you should come and read, I am just going to say that I hope you come and that it should be worth your time, as Adam is great and everyone knows that the harmonica rocks.

Go Write Now

Just a reminder that this upcoming Saturday, June 14th, we are pleased to bring you an extra special event to kick off the summer. While the regular, open-to-all Get Lit reading begins at 7 pm (note the earlier start time!), immediately following is Verses—A collaboration of poetry and music.

This will feature three poets (Get Lit regulars) performing their work with help from local musicians. The line up is as follows:

Stephanie Brea & Elliot Swauger
Edwin Kunkle & Tim Krupar
Shane Dushack & the rest of his band, Bo Wilson

Since I am participating in this collaborative process, I just want to let everyone know that Elliot & I are coming up with what I feel is some great stuff so far, and that the results are definitely going to be interesting. It really breathes new life into some of my older poems. It also provides the opportunity to stretch my creative muscles in a new way.

I hope that attending the event will inspire both writers and artists of other creative forms. The spirit of the event is parallel to another important local entity, the fledgling non profit I am also involved with, Greenlight Engage. As this organization will benefit all types of artists in the Greensburg area, I am hoping that anyone involved with Get Lit would also be interested in supporting Greenlight Engage.

Hope to see you all this Saturday!

Revealing a Little Too Much & Losing My Mysterious Persona

While I am sure that all of you are “real” writers, dedicated to honing your craft, scribbling in notebooks while your car idles at a red light, journaling in the bathtub and spending your evenings in front of your computer, I will confess that I do not write as frequently as I should. I know that a common practice is to write a little each day—no matter what. And that as a writer, writing should be of utmost importance, coming before other obligations, interests and hobbies. But, since I am confessing, I will reveal to you all that I do not always put writing first. In fact, sometimes I put it close to the end of the list. Does this make me not a “real” writer? I don’t know. All that I do know is that sometimes I procrastinate. I ruminate about ideas, kick them around, and then sometimes kick them to the curb before they are even actualized on the page. This means that while I am frequently gifted great lines from the muses as I take a shower in the morning, as I take a walk or as I make dinner, I often fail to stop what I am doing in order to give myself over to my craft. This means that I do not churn out numerous new works very frequently and that if it wasn’t for the monthly deadline of Get Lit, I am positive that I would find weeks going by without even a scrap or bit of new material.

If you are secretly similar to me, I give to you some links to writing activities that will hopefully throw you head first into creating some new poems or stories…just in time for this Saturday’s reading.

365 five-minute writing exercises

Language is a Virus

13 Writing Prompts by Dan Wiencek (as found on McSweeney's website)

Be There or Be Square

Just a friendly reminder that this Saturday, May 17th is Get Lit. The reading begins at 8 pm, but to quote Adam, “if you are chronically late, we begin at 7:45.” Last month’s turnout was phenomenal so I am hoping that this month’s lineup is packed with great readers and an appreciative audience.

"You Can Always Edit Something Bad, You Can't Edit Something Blank"

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I am not some huge Jodi Picoult fan, but the following quote is from an interview with the author on The Guardian's website. I found this excerpt on the blog, Ask Allison, and thought that it was an important reminder to us all as writers, especially on days (or weeks) when the work isn't coming and the chorus of excuses such as, "I am so busy at my job," or "My boyfriend/child/dog really needs me to do fill-in-the-blank," or "With a day like today, how can I feel inspired?" start jumping around in your brain like some Mexican jumping beans.

Picoult says, “Writing is total grunt work. A lot of people think it's all about sitting and waiting for the muse. I don't buy that. It's a job. There are days when I really want to write, days when I don't. Every day I sit down and write. You can always edit something bad. You can't edit something blank. That has always been my mantra.”

So, keep that in mind. And, take note that Ms. Picoult was also applying for jobs at Home Depot stores early in her career, because she was convinced she wasn't going to make it. Now, she has published numerous titles all of which are a popular staple at many bookstores.

Greensburg is Only as Lame as You Are

I suppose that my last two posts were a little on the snarky side. I mean, I pretty much come out and insult people, and for that I would like to apologize. And I would like to offer up some explanation for my frustration. I grew up in Greensburg, and I fondly remember when Greensburg was a thriving town filled with all kinds of stuff for younger people to do. There were so many great local bands, and many show spaces that they could play at. Coffeehouses thrived, and people would spend a majority of their free time interacting with others, communicating, collaborating and essentially creating a diverse, entertaining community. They did this on their own. They did not expect things to magically happen. They worked hard to ensure that there was plenty to do in the Greensburg area, and there was no complaining about how “there’s nothing to do in Greensburg.” Ok, maybe a little, but not nearly to the extent that I hear/feel the contempt that people seem to have now for this town.

So, when I moved back to the area, I was astounded to hear that no one had been carrying on the literary events that I had been organizing a few years prior. No one. And there are 4 colleges close by. It is from that lack of something that Get Lit was born. I did not complain; I just did it. But, events only work if people are participating and experiencing. I cannot read to myself in an empty room (well, I can, but I typically do that at home). For this monthly literary series to continue, I need readers and an audience, which for some reason seems to be difficult to come by in this town where everyone’s complaining. But, their complaints are unfounded. There are things to do in Greensburg, you just have to take the time to find them and then have the initiative to get off the couch or the barstool and go do them. Don’t misunderstand, I am not knocking a night out at the bar (and I am sure that there are some nice stories floating around about my exploits at Toad’s, Harry’s and other locales), but please believe me when I tell you that a few people are really trying to give you something to do in addition to drinking.

To quote my friend Chris, “Greensburg is only as lame as you are.”

Which is why I want to thank Mara and the rest of the Seton Hill Eye Contact staff for taking the initiative to reach out and ask if they could read from their latest issue at DV8 some month. I hope that they enjoy their experience and that they have a warm, responsive audience that appreciates that initiative. I also hope that they continue to use Get Lit as a means of sharing their work with others and as an opportunity to enjoy the work that other writers are producing.

Remember: Get Lit, featuring readers from Seton Hill University’s lit mag, Eye Contact, this Saturday 7 pm @ DV8 Espresso Bar & Gallery in Greensburg.

While I Know You Want to Bestow Me with Birthday Gifts

You should think about doing the following instead:

Chris Goodman, author of 3 self-published chapbooks (and a regular Get Lit-er) will be reading his work at DV8 on Saturday, April 26th, along with two other writers. An extravaganza of artistic mediums, the evening will also feature local bands (you get the idea, band, reader, band, reader, etc.). While there is no telling what Mr. Goodman will come up with, his past work features topics such as the bums of Philadelphia, women he has loved and observations on life, work and our always-interesting city, Greensburg.

Eye Contact Reading

Once again I am going to offer up some free fun for all you complainers. Next Saturday, April 12th, DV8 will host this month's Get Lit . The reading will begin at 7 pm, an hour earlier than usual, and will feature readers from Seton Hill University's literary magazine, Eye Contact. After the students read selections from their current issue, there will be a short intermission (for bathroom breaks, smoke breaks and latte breaks) and the regulars will be reading anything new they happened to come up with this month.

I am also pleased to announce that rumor has it that there will also be a few new participants.

It should be a great night packed with rhyme, imagery, metaphors, confessions and maybe some iambic pentameter.

And, no pressure or anything, but if you can't be bothered to make an appearance, how serious about this whole literary life are you really? A free, easily accessible event that features many local writers -- you really should make it a priority.

Masturbating to Vincent D'Onofrio will just have to wait

Next week, all you haters who whine and moan about how there’s nothing to do in Greensburg need to shut the hell up, because for 4 nights the University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg is offering you the chance to turn off the Law and Order reruns and get your behind off the Toad’s barstool. Instead, you have the ability to get some culture right in your own backyard. No traveling to Pittsburgh required. That’s right, it’s the annual Writing Festival, which is coordinated by the lovely Ms. Lori Jakelia, professor and author of the memoir Miss New York Has Everything (Read it). Listen to some great writers read their work. This year’s schedule is packed full of greatness. Monday March 24th: Ed Ochester. Tuesday March 25th: Jane McCafferty & Charlee Brodsky. Wednesday March 26th: Steve Almond. Thursday March 27th: Jim Daniels (I heart his work). So stop the complaining, get off the couch and attend. It’s free. So there really is no excuse. And if you are thinking, well Stephanie, I have to work, that’s a legitimate excuse. I say to you, call off. The flu has been going around, so it’s totally plausible and 5 years from now, hell, 1 year from now, are you going to wish you had spent more of your life slinging t-shirts at the Gap? I doubt it. In fact, I’ve been there (not the Gap specifically) and speaking from experience, you will not regret missing a shift at TGI Fridays, Starbucks or the campus cafeteria. In addition to the well-known authors, UPG students are scheduled to read their own work as a sort of opening act, so be on time and show some support. See you there.

All events start at 7 pm in Village Hall on the UPG campus. Use the computer to obtain any other information that would be required. Oh, and to read more about Steve Almond, as reported by Dylan Nice, one-time Get Lit participant and editor of the UPG newspaper, click this link: http://www.upginsider.com/node/1213

Future Tense

The theme for next month is the future, which, once again, is pretty open for interpretation. Thought up and decided upon by an audience member in some tangent derived from the Ides of March, the future can mean so many things. In the future, it will be sunny. I will have wrinkles and eat a grilled cheese sandwich. Guns 'n' Roses will release Chinese Democracy. I mean, it hasn't even happened yet, so who knows what it will entail. All I know for sure is that if you are planning on reading March 15th, you must bring something that ties into the theme - unless of course you do what Chris did and compliment me profusely before you begin reading, then of course I will completely forget that you aren't following the rules (just kidding).

This Time

Last night's turn out was one of the best in a while. 9 readers. Which doesn't sound like so many, but if you think about how there was that one month when Chris, Mara and I read to each other while the other cafe patrons continued to sit and sip and sketch around us, I think that this shows vast improvement. Also, many turned out to listen, and we actually should have pulled the extra folding chairs out of the back room. To all who came, my sincerest thanks.

Febrrrrrruary

Tomorrow is February's Get Lit. I know it's supposed to snow and freezing rain and all that other fun Western PA precipitation, but that's no excuse. You know you'd leave your house to go to the bar, so just leave a little early and come hear some original poetry, short fiction and creative non-fiction by some local folks who work their asses off at this whole writing thing.


Since this is the season of romance, the theme is love, hate or indifference. As that is pretty open, the resulting work should be interesting.

8 pm. DV8 Espresso Bar & Gallery, Greensburg. Be there.